Village Hall pantomimes are available to purchase for £200 each. This provides three master copies and entitles the buyer to reproduce as many copies as needed and permits the buyer to adapt the script where necessary. The only stipulation is that the title and the name of the writer appears on all publicity material, programmes and so on. Where a DVD of the show is available, we suggest that you buy that first (£12 to include p&p). If you like it and go on to purchase the script, £10 is refunded.
Currently Available:
Time Will Tell
This panto is our latest, performed at the end of November 2008, and judged by many to be 'the best yet'. William Tell is now an old man, running the clock factory he inherited from his grandfather. A new Burgermeister is causing all sorts of problems in the town, but no-one will heed Tell's warnings about him until too late, when he arrives to take over the factory. Meanwhile a young girl, Honey Guider, from England arrives, to find the secret of perpetual motion, held by Tell, to save her local town clock. But Tell can't remember where he has hidden it. The Burgermeister is also trying to track the secret down with the help of his Swiss guards. In a rush against time, and with the help of some young goatherds, some strange Gnomes of Zurich and a very strange cuckoo, Tell and Honey overcome the Burgermeister in a show-down which involves firing a crossbow at the giant clock which hasn't worked since Tell's grandfather died.
A DVD of this panto is available to buy and costumes available for hire
Beauty is a Beast
This panto was performed to great acclaim at the end of 2007. Beauty is the spoilt, demanding daughter of impoverished Lord & Lady Muck, for whom they are keen to find a rich suitor so that their crumbling mansion can be saved. When they hear that wealthy Count Down is coming to call they throw a garden party, but Beauty is missing. Two dodgy Indians at the local market have persuaded her to play a strange game of 'Deal or No Deal' with disastrous results so that she can no longer be called Beauty. How can she be changed back in time? Faithful gardener Mellors comes to her rescue, with help from Barry Trotter and, eventually, the greatest Dr. of them all. Beauty learns that beauty is no substitute for kindness, Count Down learns that it is her sister Jane whom he really loves, and Mellors gets the girl.
A DVD of this panto is available to buy and costumes available for hire
Robin & The Hoodies
Robin and his band of inept hoodies are trying to save Marion from the clutches of the evil Sheriff. But behind every evil man is a mad woman and The Sheree is really the one manipulating events, along with her witch type side kick Carol Complainer. With the help of the Babes In The Wood and the Sugababes, Robin does his best to save the day culminating in an hilarious climax of poisoning, sword fights and exploding boobs!
A DVD of this panto is available to buy and costumes available for hire
Are You Sitting Comfortably?
Every character that you remember from children's TV is in this story as the evil Skeletor seeks world domination by taking over the BBC. But he hasn't reckoned on the skills of Blunderwoman helped by Witchy Poo and Looby Lou. From Noddy and Big Ears to Postman Pat and Kermit the Frog each scene produces new characters beloved by adults and children. But our mighty female trio still need the help of the audience before Skeletor is vanquished and order restored to TV land.
A DVD of this panto is available to buy
Princess
It's the christening of King David and Queen Posh's new baby, called 'Princess'. (Yes, we know Jordan has done the same, but we thought of it first!) When the Bad Fairy casts a spell decreeing that Princess will die when she pricks her finger on a diamond stylus at her 16th birthday party, the Good Fairy (who happens to be a man, because of sex equality in the workplace) changes the spell so that everone will fall asleep,until the princess is woken by a kiss. So far, so traditional. But confusion reigns when, deep in outer space, Captain Berk and his sidekicks Superted and Grotty, receive a message that there is a princess to be saved, and decide it must be Princess Leia from Star Wars. Misunderstandings are eventually resolved.... but what if the Princess doesn't like the man who's woken her?........
This panto was re-worked for performance in 2009, with updated songs an a new DVD
available to buy
A Tale of One Kitty
Claude the Cat helps Dick Twittington to rid Queenie's bar of rats, bringing Dick to the attention of the owner who gives him a job in his store, where Dick falls in love with the owner's daughter, beautiful Angelina. Falsely accused of theft, he is deported, but shipwrecked onto a desert island, where with the help of a bunch of pirates and some rather elderly ladies, he manages to make his way back to England. His rival is now Lord Mayor of London and about to marry Angelina, but, with more help from Claude, Dick overcomes all obstacles.
A DVD of this panto is available to buy.
Brynbugadoon
Modern good-time girls Quiche and Lorraine are inadvertently transported back to medieval times . There they meet plenty of 'knights in shining armour' (and some Wombles!) and, with the aid of Merlin's magic brooch, help the impoverished Summer Knight to win the jousts and the hand of the lovely Flora. But how are Quiche and Lorraine going to get back to the present day? And..... do they really want to??
A DVD of this panto is available to buy
What the Dickens
Ebenezer Scrooge and his side-kick Uriah Creep run a match factory. But Scrooge wants more money, and when a visit from Queen Victoria (God Bless Her!) is planned for the diamond factory next door, he hatches a plan to make him the wealthiest man ever. But he is unprepared for the Masked Avenger who spoils his plans and wins the heart of Scrooge's niece. But who is that Masked man and will those bumbling detectives Sherlock and Holmes find all the missing pieces of the puzzle before the final curtain?
Ali the Barber
Ali doesn't want to be a barber all his life like his father, and his sister Jazzmina wants to travel the world rather than end up in the Sultan's harem. The Sultan is dominated by his nasty wife, the Sultana, and daren't tell her that he has forgotten the code word to get into the cave where all their riches are stored. Then, with his evil henchman, he learns that there is another way in to the cave via Ali's barber's shop. But Ali discovers it first, and, with the aid of Jeannie, summoned from a lamp, the jewel polisher slaves, and his family - in all, fourteen thieves! - Ali overcomes the mad Sultana and the wimpish Sultan, rescues the girl of his dreams from the harem, and Jazzmina finds all her wishes come true too.
A DVD of this panto is available to buy
The Golden Goose
Mean Count of Money Crispo needs a wife to stop his long-lost brother from claiming half his estate. Ignoring his devoted housekeeper, Norma Snockers, he chooses Rose, a local flower-seller, on the understanding that if she marries him he will improve the life of his poor villagers. But Rose meets Jack, who has just spent the last of his money on buying a golden goose from the dodgy Sheik-Aleg. The goose is supposed to lay golden eggs, but so far has only laid normal ones. Regretfully, Jack cannot bear to see Rose wed another, and decides to leave. The goose is so upset that he urges the audience to help and succeeds in laying a golden egg. Rose can now marry Jack, and pay the Count enough to re-build the villagers homes. But who can the Count marry? Step forward the newly-improved Miss Snockers, who bowls him over. And the Sheik? And the long-lost brother? Could they be one and the same?
Alice in Storyland
'Twas the day before Christmas and Alice is bored, falls asleep, and finds herself in Storyland, where she is told she is the only one who can unravel the antidote to the Great Gonzo's spell which has put the whole of Storyland under his control. The antidote is a rhyme which tells her which ingredients she needs. A sultry Tinkerbell and a cowardly lion become her allies whilst the Wicked Witch sides with Gonzo. Simple Simon, Robin Hood, the Old Woman who lived in a shoe, Hansel & Gretel and Cruella De Vil all play their part in providing Alice with the ingredients - but can she still overcome Gonzo and return home through the Tunnel of Truth in time for Christmas?